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Story time with Matt Russell!

A long time between drinks for me (not literally of course), but this is my first piece since 2012 I believe. Some call it laziness, I also call it laziness but at least im not… wait what was I saying? Time for another drink.

Anyway, I thought I would do a bit of a cover of what’s been going on for me in the first half of this year briefly before I start covering the events that are coming up and explaining in detail the after party, trip there, the trip back and occasionally the drifting in between.

Muski & I matsuri
As usual, the year started of with a bang at the bi-annual Vic drift Winton matsuri. Much like the opening and closing ceremonies of the Olympics this event happens at the beginning and the end of each year, its has fireworks similar to that of the Olympics, it has drunken caravan park demolition much like the Olympics, basically the only differences are that we swap the steroids for beers and athleticism for automobiles. As usual, I attended with two cars, my AE86 and my old AE86 that I lend to an enemy each matsuri in hope that their ill fate lays within the Bride seat of that death trap car.


Me matsuri old car

Unfortunately, issues that had plagued my 86 late in 2012 were still occurring and resulted in only being able to do a couple of laps (and only one pair of tyres) per session. However, the magical never say never attitude of my old 86 prevailed so I took it out on the Sunday for what I had hoped would be its last drive. Thinking I had finally killed it when it stopped running while heading up the front straight I soon came to realise that after two full days of driving, it may have helped to put some fuel in it. On it went.

Still, my luck was better than that of Old Man Jones, fearless helmsman of Hit and Run who hardly made it out onto the track with his push rod powered long boat S13. Even with his army of Hit and Run gangies, the issues with his LS13 were too great and he only managed the same amount of laps as beers he can consume before falling asleep. It was great to see the Hit and run guys make another trip down for the event, they’re always the most fun group (group, not team) to hang out with along with their Victorian counterparts Muski, Jam Jam and the crew. It was a shame to see after the taunts from the previous matsuri that Leader Woods wasn’t in attendance, hopefully he can redeem himself late this year for Vic drifts summer matsuri.

Not much happened for a while after matsuri, the season still hadn’t kicked off competition wise, so I decided to turn the old 86 into a rally car by changing absolutely nothing on it and seeing how well it faired off road.

86 rally
After a couple of hours and a distinct ticking sound in the air I decided to wipe some dust off the gauges to reveal zero oil pressure. Interesting. Surely the old girl wasn’t dead. Something needed to be done. So I got a large pot, half filled it with water, heated it to over 200 degrees centigrade, added the ears of a goat, tongue of a snake, a dry cell battery, 3 VB’s and a bag of salt, cooked it for around three hours, THEN, took the sump off the car, bashed the dent in it out with a hammer, put the old oil back in and BAM, 90psi. Witchcraft plain and simple.

86 Jump 1
As you might know (and not care), im driving the full series of ADGP this year, and in return for our entry fees, we actually get to be on TV and occasionally do a bit of driving. The exhibition round of ADGP bought its buddy FD Asia along with it and we had a gay old time at Calder Park together. While the event wasn’t part of the ADGP series it still had its own competition on the Saturday in which I went down early in the day to my tall friend from way out west Bitch Munney (Mitch Bunney, it’s a play on words you jerks) who has now taken drivership rights of the Achilles S15, thankfully he’s still a good guy and didn’t adopt the personality with the fame.

The day progressed and the top lot eventually went on to earn their place in the first round of FD Asia on the Sunday. But let’s face it, you’ve seen and read about that event 200 times 6 months ago, so there’s no need for me to bang on about it now. Daigo something, Aasbo something else, you get the point.

Tassie loaded up
So I was having Tasmania withdrawals strongly, after missing the first round of their 2013 series and having a large gap in my schedule I decided to trip it over and hit up round two at Symmons Plains. As usual, one of the friendliest competitions I attend on this side of the country, I don’t care if I win or don’t even make it out of the pits, I always have a good time down there with the HTS boys and drifting is just a bonus.

After suffering car issues late in 2012 and again early in 2013 I decided to get handfuls of money and throw it at the car, at some point of this physical money abuse, the car decided enough was enough and pulled its head in, I have no idea what the issue was, but it was gone. Again, witchcraft, no other explanation.

However then practice lead to dramas, the car would stall every lap over the hump coming into turn one at Symmons, which wasn’t very handy. Then, witchcraft. Hah, nah, although he could pass as a witch, my friend Fenton somehow worked out that because of the lack of foam in my brand new fuel cell the fuel would lift coming over the hump and pump nothing but air momentarily. So we definitely did not fix this by blocking all breathers and overflow valves and then just filling the cell to the brim before every battle, we fixed it with witchcraft.

Tassie chase

Thankfully, this sorted the issue in time for qualifying and we managed to progress through the day and I ended up taking home third place behind Josh How and Michael Truscott.

The rest of the night was a blur, all I remember someone saying is “you can’t even drink out of this trophy”, yeah well, you can.

Tassie trophy drink

The day that turned sour, round one of the Victorian Drift Club championship. The weather as usual didn’t look promising, however it held off for the best part of the day, yet it still made for plenty of mishaps. Although, are they still called mishaps when it happens at Calder? I mean, you have a mint car, and you plow the ass of it into the wall like the downstairs strippers at centerfold on that small stage with the wall right behind it next to the main bar, but did you really mess up? Did you really crash? Nah mate, RUN DA WALL BRO, that’s what you were going for, you wanted to ruin the back of your car because lets face it, it looks sick to smash your sweet rig.

Feeling comfortable with the day I slowly made my way through the battles, Sterling Wright put up a hell of a fight in the top 16 in which I thought he should have had the upper hand. I think I got lucky, then… Khudar. There’s no messing with the man, he’s bigger off the track than he is on, which is saying something. After putting in a good chase run on him, to do a lead run and not see him in your mirror when you finish a run… instant stress. Why isn’t that 10,000hp machine filling my mirrors? Why is that group of 25 blokes running at me? Turns out after my transition into the bowl, it looked like I was about to spin, and truth be told, I thought exactly the same. Khudar being the gentle giant of drift that he is, puled back to avoid an impact, to which I thank him. Unfortunately the wall wasn’t so well mannered when I went backwards into it in the top 4 battle against Agges, hence ending my day to the delight of certain competitor’s mothers. But at least I ran the wall bro, run dat wall. Congratulations to Agges, Big Prosenik and Moe Elhaouli taking the podium spots, 1, 2, 3 respectively.

Matsuri pits

So that’s what’s happened up until now that can be told publicly. Been doing plenty of legal karting lately too, plenty of drinks, trying to grow up and buy houses, not buying houses and buying more 86’s instead and planning a new big 86 build for later in the year.

Anyway, im tired, bye.

Go karting

1 thought on “Story time with Matt Russell!

  1. Too much homo!

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